Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
