I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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