I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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