This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
there is glitter all over my balls
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
