Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
