OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize