Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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