i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
