matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
