Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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