once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
