Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
