We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize