I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
