they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
