She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
