Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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