Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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