I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
