made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
