cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize