Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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