Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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