she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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