So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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