no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize