I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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