i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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