You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
