you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
