i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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