More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
