Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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