just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
