Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
