How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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