that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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