It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
