I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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