We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
