dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
