i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
