I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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