I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
