im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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