can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
