So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
