im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
