You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
