I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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