my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
