I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
