My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
