dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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