I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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