During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize