I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
