dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
