doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
