Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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