Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
