yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
