Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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