I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
