and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
from now on my penis is your penis
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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