There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
