Your tits are I can't wait for
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
