She's JV to your varsity
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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