I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
