i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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