I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
try to milk me bitch
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
